Consent and Conduct Policy for Play at Tethered Together
Consent is collaborative. You’re not doing stuff TO people, you’re doing stuff WITH people. If you’d like to play with someone else, you need talk about what you want to do before you do it and find something to do together. That could be lots of things or nothing. Both are okay to find out. We suggest you consider talking about how you want to feel after you’re done as well. If you can’t talk about it together, you probably shouldn’t be doing it together.
- No touching people or personal property without permission.
- Treat everyone as an equal, and only engage in verbal role-play if you have permission. For example, don’t call someone as “Mistress” or “slave” or any other role-play word unless you’ve asked for permission.
- Determine the scope of your scene prior to the activities, including whether there will be any contact with the breasts and genitals. Consent must be established before play and may be withdrawn at any time by anyone involved for any reason.
- Each participant is responsible for making sure everyone involved has the mental and emotional ability to give informed and voluntary consent for the scene.
- Depending on all participants’ state of mind, we recommend that you don’t renegotiate in the middle of your scene. When a person is in subspace or otherwise not in a clear state of mind, you may not have informed consent even though though that person may appear to agree in the heat of the moment.
- Anyone can withdraw consent, make a nonverbal safesign or use the universal safeword “Red” at any time during a scene. Once consent is withdrawn, the activity must stop immediately. Partners need to share the safewords or safesigns that are being used.
- The “top”, or other person performing an action on someone else, is legally responsible for stopping that action at any suggestion that the person they are doing the action to has withdrawn consent or that consent has not been established for that action. The “bottom”, or person receiving an action,is ethically responsible for being clear and unequivocal when withdrawing consent.
- If you experience or witness a consent incident, tell a DM or clearly marked delegate of the event organizer immediately.
- Violation of this consent policy may result in expulsion from the event. No one is exempt from the rules.
- Disclaimer: Every reasonable effort will be made to enforce this policy, but this organization makes no representations or guarantees about its ability to do so, and all participants/attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their own safety and, ethically and often legally,the safety of others with whom they interact.
Adapted from the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom as a resource for BDSM Events
Reporting Consent Incidents at Tethered Together
If you would like to speak to a Peer Support volunteer about a consent incident, please find a staff member at the Help Desk or Registration. Ask them to contact a member of the Peer Support Team. You do not have to share the reason with anyone. You are welcome to share the experiences that you are comfortable sharing with whom you wish to speak with.
A Peer Support Team member will meet you and provide a listening ear. If you opt to file an official incident report form, they will provide that information to you. Although reports are not anonymous, they are confidential. In certain cases, the team will want to share the nature of the concern with Skyla & Ozma so that appropriate actions can be taken to provide a safe and comfortable environment for you and the other attendees.
We have enlisted the help of Susan Wright from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. Susan will be on call for the entire event to provide our Peer Support volunteers with compassionate and informed advice if a challenging situation arises.
After Hours: Ask the Hotel to contact Peer Support, they will ring their room phone and come meet you.